Tesla Cybertruck: pickup, no—trickup, yes

Trick up:”put on special clothes to appear particularly appealing and attractive

Hello World! Meet the dazzlingly new off-road king! Meet the ultra-heavy-duty workhorse! Meet a brand new class of pickup truck. Hello trickup!

Names: Master of mod, silent killer, rider, real world warthog, armored armadillo,

Body modification will be super easy owing to the thick and strong skin.

It promises to be so much more, that it really deserves a brand new class designation. Hence, speaking as a random internet person, I dub thee Cybertruck in a new class thine own: a landship.

Justification? The thing may be pressurizable, as Musk recently teased Twitter: “Tesla Cybertruck (pressurized edition) will be official truck of Mars.” If Tesla ever does release a pressurized edition, driving their Cybertruck on Mars is probably not gonna ever happen for most people alive today. However, something even more exciting for me is the Cybertruck’s potential as a seafaring vessel and submersible rover.


Negative press:

– First off: no publicity is bad publicity.

-Don’t like the design: Fuck off. No-one cares about your bad sense of style.

-Tasha Keeney from ARK Invest makes a good point in her interview by Yahoo! Finance: critics ignore competitive pricing by comparing it to hummer

Twitter sentiment analysis:

– Tech reviewer, Marques Brownlee, commented: “Haven’t seen anything so polarizing in a long time. You either love it or hate it.”

Hannah Fry, in her Ted Talk, The mathematics of love, shows that popularity can perhaps be maximized right on the borderline where beauty meets beast. I’ve noticed a similar pattern in the popularity of my own media posts. Often, my most popular content is that which strongly divides the audience. Politicians often utilize this technique to gain popularity with great success. Skeptical? Look no further than the Trump shit-show for confirmation.

Personal initial impressions:

– I’m glad it’s not as big as early designs suggested. Big usually means expensive, and expensive isn’t gonna change the world.

– I fucking love the design! Apparently Musk does no market research TODO:link, yet it seems he managed to nail my demographic nonetheless. I must admit it seems this truck was tailor-made for me as it ticks so many of my personal boxes: lover of peace and quiet, nature, minimalism, tech, efficiency, etc.

Future prospects:

– Pressurized addition:

Tesla market cap rockets towards $80B big ones.

Tesla paid ~$12M for tesla.com domain: TODO ref

Data is the new oil

May ship with driverless?

  • Decentralized energy networks
    • Africa: https://youtu.be/20adDr7Felw

Armored Personnel Carrier -> Armored Personal Telsa

Skin in the game

April 2020: bought TSLA stock

May the 4th, 2020: reserved my very own Tesla Cybertruck!

  • Order number: RN113407755
  • Tri-motor + FSD

Just bought @Tesla Cyber Truck. Will be my first brand new vehicle. Was thinking to wait to buy used. Then suddenly clicked: FSD vehicles will be assets not liabilities! #GameChanger